June 13, 2020
The Star

KANGAR (Bernama): The emotional pressure that a victim of a pedophile has is akin to living in hell, that is the cry of a private sector worker who wants to be known as 'Man'.

Man, 35, said the dark clouds began to hang over him about 26 years ago when he became a sex object of his female cousin he was living with.

"At the time, I didn't suspect anything when she asked that we slept together," he said awkwardly when met by Bernama recently.

He said episodes of being a victim of a pedophile did not stop there as he was often singled out to become the object of non-consensual sex since his school right to his university days.

Recalling the horrible experiences he went through, the third of five siblings said that when he was in standard three he once again became a victim of adult sexual gratification.

"I decided to keep mum and not share it with my family for fear of my own safety, due to the threats from the perpetrators, ” he said.

Man said at first he thought the dark clouds would pass when he received an offer to enroll in a full boarding school but as it turned out, he ended being his seniors’ object of bullying and sexual gratification.

"The pressure sometimes made me look for the easy way out, by taking my own life, but then I thought about my mother. I couldn’t bear to add sufferings to my mother, who is a single parent, ” he said.

Man said he became a sex victim yet again when he continued his studies at an institute of higher learning.

"This time I get paid for fulfilling sexual desires. It was fun at first as I had pocket money, but I realised I couldn’t let myself be a sexual object and must put a stop to it, ” he said.

When Man joined the work force and tied the knot, he was finally free and was able to lead a normal life.

"I am grateful to be able to come out of this depth of humiliation, despite having to go through it alone. My advice to families and victims of pedophiles is to lodge police reports and not be shy, because if they don’t, these child sex offenders will continue to ruin their children’s future,” said Man who is expecting his first child soon.

Meanwhile, Perlis police chief Datuk Surina Saad advised the family of victims of pedophiles to report to the police immediately and not allow child sexual abuse and crimes to continue.

"This crime (pedophilia) can only be prevented if family members and the community come together and report on incidents happening around them. Making a police report does not mean they are being busybodies instead they will ensure the safety of everyone," she said.

Surina said it was an offence for family members to cover up these abusive activities and to have the perpetrator of the crime free to repeat the act.

She said the Sexual Offences Against Children Act 2017 was there for the public to make a police report on the crime and a victim's confession was sufficient to drag the suspect to court.

"The complainant does not need any witnesses or any supporting documents or videos to charge the offender," she said.

She said the act would allow the victims to tell the incident in a safe manner, either by giving the testimony behind the veil or via video footage because most victims were traumatised and unable to speak.

Surina said police through the Criminal Investigation Department, the Sexual Investigation Division (D11) will assign a psychologist to counsel and help the victim relay the incident.

She said that among the efforts of unit D11 to prevent the crime was to give talks to the public, especially parents so that they would be well-informed about the offence.

"Guardians can also be subject to legal action if they are sexually abusive to children even on the basis of love," she said.

She said among the most common sexual offences committed by pedophiles were sodomy, sex with children under the age of 13 and using children as objects of sexual desire and sexual abuse. - Bernama


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